A few weeks ago, a friend from Uni who aLso happened to be working at the same office with me said: “For aLL the years I’ve known you, I’ve never heard anything about you having a crush on anyone. There were never any gossips about you-Like-whoever you Like.. How did you do that?”
To be honest, I don’t reaLLy know either. Maybe I’m turning asexuaL, but I stiLL get attracted to hot men, reaL or fictionaL.
Then Last Friday, when I was bored and had nothing to do and was incidentaLLy staring at a (married) maLe coLLeague, I suddenLy reaLized that I Like him.
He’s not that handsome, but he can pass as cute even though his nose is a LittLe wide. He’s the right height for me, and his body is quite weLL-buiLt naturaLLy without being obsessiveLy trained at the gyms. He aLways taLks poLiteLy, and this is the first time I think Javanese accent is cute. He aLways treat peopLe kindLy, and even the oLder Ladies are swooning for him. And he’s married. I wouLd reaLLy Like to drag him to meet my mother and toLd her, “O Mother, if you’re stiLL up for the mission of finding your ideaL future son-in-Law, you shouLd Look for a man Like him.”
Now, I didn’t reaLLy know if this couLd be counted as a ‘crush’ or not, because the moment I reaLized that I might feeL.. more for him, instantLy there was a siren bLaring “He’smarriedhe’smarriedhe’smarriedhe’smarried” inside my head, so I decided to kiLL it before it even begin.
But stiLL, he inspired a heated Whatsapp conversation with the girLs who might be the Last witnesses of me crushing on anyone, and some rants between a portion of Caesar SaLad, some mushrooms, and 3 sLices of pizza.
Oh, and one more thing: I got reaLLy hot and bothered and squirmy just by thinking of him, which was weird, because my period was over the week before.
And then the weekend came. And passed. When I saw him again on Monday, I hardLy feeL a thing when I taLked to him. He was sick on Tuesday. And today, I spent the whoLe day in meetings, and when I finaLLy get to see him, a feLt nary a thing.
Dare I say I’ve kiLLed it? No, because I don’t dare to think about what wiLL happen when PMS comes roLLing. But I dare say I’ve returned to the peacefuL, crush-Less days. And this is not high schooL.