The titLe of this post was quoted from my BFU when I toLd her I was to go to another mission with Subject.. Let’s just caLL him R1.
R1 is a notary who had worked with Mrs. Z, one of Her Mothership’s gaziLLion friends (I don’t even know if I have ever met Mrs. Z. If I had, I can’t even recaLL what she Looks Like). Mrs. Z advertised him as a highLy eLigibLe bacheLor with a steady income, but he’s extremeLy shy. HM toLd me Mrs. Z toLd her that R1 consuLted Mrs. Z for a week before he started contacting me.
The resuLt of that consuLtation?
A stream of annoying texts with various incorrect speLLings of my name and fLooding me with sad faces emojis if I didn’t text him back ASAP, a coupLe of DIY Ed Sheeran covers, and a barrage of seLfies in a poLice car.
So I siLentLy toLd him to go to heLL.
And eventuaLLy he stopped. My Life was peacefuL again.
For a few months.
UntiL Mrs. Z kindLy butted in again, urging us to meet, through Her Mothership.
So the stream of annoying texts with various incorrect speLLings of my name and fLooding me with sad faces emojis if I didn’t text him back ASAP returned.
OnLy this time, he said “Look, I know you’re pushed to do this, so am I. Mrs. Z won’t stop buggering me about you.”
Poor him. So I agreed, just to ease our mutuaL annoyances.
On the way to The Mission, Her Mothership kept saying I have to be nice, don’t be too coLd, yada yada yada. She even asked me to ‘bring’ him to meet her.
SERIOUSLY HOW WEIRD WOULD THAT BE. I mean, we both didn’t want to do this, so if I ‘took’ him to my mother he wouLd think:
a. “Hey, maybe she likes me.” (are there any throw up emojis in WordPress?)
b. “Oh great it’s her mom now I have pressure from both sides.”
So I said NO WAY to Her Mothership, and off I went to The Mission.
The foLLowing things happened:
- He kept repeating how annoyed he was by Mrs. Z taLking about me (seriousLy though, which one is this Mrs. Z and what does she know about me besides I’m singLe and Her Mothership is desperate to marry me off?)
- He doesn’t know how the Food Court Table Law works.
- He insisted to ordering food for me.
- He doesn’t eat meat.
- The conversation died a few times for periods far too Long to be comfortabLe. And I was trying to be nice and chatty.
- He sLightLy pushed me to go to a sport shop, and caLLed and texted me everytime I was out of his sight.
- After it was over and done with, Her Mothership is giving me the CoLd Shoulder treatment because.. I don’t know..? For not bringing him to meet her?
ConcLusion: Mission Aborted.