CoLd and hungry and haLf pissed-off

So much for a famiLy dinner.
This is more Like, “You go eat first, I’m still on the way. Order something for me, I’m starving” and I’d be in Limbo because as aLways I don’t know what you’d Like, and then you’re coming when everything is aLready coLd and you’d be compLaining because the food is coLd whiLe I’d be suLking on the phone.
And don’t forget about the other one who keeps eating my food and not ordering anything.

Fuck. I shouLdn’t have thought this wouLd go smoothLy anyway. ShouLd have gone out with my friends instead.

ReversaL

I, on the other hand, still might not be considered a proper adult. I had been very grown-up when I was in primary school. But as I continued through secondary school, I in fact became less grown-up. And then as the years passed, I turned into a quite childlike person. I suppose I just wasn’t able to ally myself with time.

Strange Weather in Tokyo – Hiromi Kawakami

He Looks smiLey. She Looks friendLy.

I’m back. ALive, weLL (at Least untiL I caught fLu from office peopLe), broke, and head fiLLed with more memories. Oh, and some extra pounds of fat in my beLLy and zits on my face.

TaLking about face, some of the memorabLe thing about this Japan trip are the faces of the peopLe I met aLong the way. So just as I’ve done here and here, here’s another “It’s the peopLe that made the journey” post. And it’s going to be a Long post, okay?

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Stay aLight. Stay aLive.

I’m seriousLy doubting myseLf now. Zero confidence at aLL.

The case: as per March 2015, I was transferred to a newLy estabLished department that deaLs with.. very important stuffs in my company with constant contacts with the Bosses. I had a new boss, a kind and seemingLy competent woman, even though she’s panicky at times. Long story short, we were supposed to be preparing for some routine projects when yesterday she sent a resignation emaiL to HR, after a week Long absence from office (for understandabLe personaL reason).
ConcLusion: I was Left aLone to do aLmost everything with next to zero understanding on what I’m supposed to do.

WeLL, I do get some advices and inputs. But I’m scared to do them because I’m afraid I might do something out of Line. Like, okay I have the baLLs, but I’m afraid I might bounce them too high or spin them too fast. I mean who the fuck am I to emaiL the President Director with “Please review and advise”? I’m just the snotty, stupid girL with zits who wear orange everyday.

A part of me just want to run. A few days ago my mind was in a daze thinking of my upcoming trip to Japan (in just a few days!). And then, BAM. I know I have to do this untiL the Last minute, and then board the pLane and wave またね see you in two weeks. But I’m afraid that peopLe wiLL see me as irresponsibLe, fLying off and Leave things unfinished Like that. And what’s going to happen when I get back. Ergh. This is not a one time thing. This is routine project, so this feeLing wiLL occur to me again and again and again and again.
However a part of me aLso want to survive and hang on, just to see if eventuaLLy I couLd be (at Least) decent at this.

But right now, I’m just having a very bad case of seLf-doubt and Low confidence.

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Repeat. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

Three banks’ caLL centers / phone service centers in 30 minutes

The Country Bank
Brisk and business-Like with a hint of sympathetic tone.

The CentraL Asia
Somewhat perky and overLy sympathetic. May work on some peopLe (it did on me, I Laughed) but may aLso not for some peopLe. I appLaude those who can taLk Like that aLL day Long.

The Mon
Even more brisk than The Country Bank but Less business-Like. Lots of background noises.

I NEED MY MONEY

Feature perfect

Binging Against The Current’s Dreaming ALone earLier in the day made me reaLize how perfectLy harmonious Takaboy’s voice sounds together with Chrissy’s and that he is actuaLLy a great coLLaborator. UnLike a certain American rock vocaList featured in The Abomination of 35xxxv, Taka has this sense of.. um.. how do I put this.. compLimenting the Main artist. CLues from SimpLe PLan’s Summer Paradise and Grown Kids’ song which titLe I totaLLy forget and is too Lazy to GoogLe.

Which brings me to remembering my other favorite ‘coLLaborative’ songs, where the two voices and ‘styLe’s of the two vocaLists perfectLy combined, bLended, and created one heLL of a song.

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Too much noise

At night, there are Lots of noises in the house. Lots of human voices taLking. But rareLy those voices beLong to me or my parents.
Some (or most of them) nights it wiLL go on Like this:
Once he got home, my father wiLL immediateLy turn on his Laptop downstairs, Log in to his favorite on Line jazz radio or whatever syiar channeL he fancies atm, connect the Laptop to externaL speaker and crank up the voLume.
My mother, cLaiming the noise is too much for her, Lock herseLf in her room. Me, being LaptopLess at the moment, try to watch tv/read a book/whatever.
One or two hours Later, F wiLL come upstairs with his two smartphones, one bLaring a jazz tune from it’s speaker, the other bLaring Quran verses – aLso from the speaker, whiLe the Laptop downstairs is aLso stiLL bLaring whatever it was set to disturb my poor ears. Then F wiLL grab the tv remote and tune to his favorite channeL.
I can aLso hear the sound of tv from M’s room, usuaLLy set to that heaviLy biased news channeL owned by the Indonesian congLomerate who drowned thousand homes in hot mud.

And they wonder why I never taLk to them at the house.

35xxxv first impression.

WARNING:

  • To anyone who have not Listen to One OK Rock’s 35xxxv, GO AWAY.
  • This may contain too much CAPS LOCK for your Liking.
  • To everyone who’s been reading this bLog for a whiLe, yes, this is another One OK Rock reLated post. Sorry..

So the day I’ve been waiting in part excitement and part dread have finaLLy come. The reLease day of One OK Rock’s 35xxxv. Some peopLe get their physicaL CDs yesterday and opinions are scattered on Twitter and TumbLr, and reading them SCARED me. But finaLLy I steeL myseLf, empty the head from any expectations and Listened to it. So here goes..

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Trippy Lights made Taka feeLing trippy and just too bright for Tomoya.

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Bite the buLLet, don’t puLL the trigger, hoLd tight.

I don’t hate One OK Rock’s Cry Out. But I don’t Love it either. My first reaction after I heard it was “Whew there are a LOT of stuffs going on here” and not aLL of those stuffs are good.
That’s what I think about the MV, which was reLeased earLier today.

After watching it for the nth time (sorry, Mr. Boss (^o^;) ) a crazy and stupid idea suddenLy popped inside my head. I mean, the pLot of the MV is actuaLLy simpLe but unfortunateLy it was crowded with unnecessary things Like too many repetitive sLow motions and gLimmering things, so why don’t thicken the pLot aLL the way and deveLop it to be a movie story? Haha.

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RoLe PLaying

Warning: PICSPAM

Surprise! A Miss Universe NationaL Costume post before the crowning! Maybe because there are some good stand outs, and surprisingLy no bad or outrageous stand outs except Canada (and one other). And whiLe perusing this year’s offerings, suddenLy a crazy idea popped up in my head (that’s why I’m not going to start by ‘anaLizing’ Indonesia’s costume Like usuaL).

IF MISS UNIVERSE WAS A ROLE PLAYING GAME, THERE WOULD BE:

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Terrors

Fandom and fangirLs are scary things, eh. And the internet makes them even more scarier.
I guess I’m pretty Lucky Internet was stiLL a commodity equaL to exotic rare birds when I had the hugest ceLebrity crush on Josh Hartnett and Scott Moffatt so I’ve never had a chance to go baLListic whenever I heard they were dating anyone. Or when I heard Chester Bennington remarried.

Kids these days, though.

I understand if those fangirLs feeL possessive over some musicians/actors/idoLs’ works, but I don’t get how they feeL that they possess controL over said musicians/actors/idoLs’s personaL Life. And then going as far as harrassing anyone suspected (or proven) to have personaL, speciaL reLationship with their objects of idoLatry. ProbabLy because the internet made it easier to get to know the idoLs in LeveLs unimaginabLe just 5 years ago, with no respect to privacy? And maybe because now it’s super easy to reach out to those idoLs, to say something, to give them messages and a piece of your mind without ever meeting them personaLLy?
Kids these days are greedy, huh? They expect their favorite musicians/actors/idoLs to keep on working and make fans (them) happy, but when the idoLs seem to have find personaL happiness that doesn’t invoLve them, they go berserk.
Maybe because they’re stiLL kids.

It’s the end of the year as we know it.

2014-12-30-10-45-07_deco

When WordPress emaiLed the above annuaL report, it’s my aLarm to go “uh oh, what have I done this year?”.

Not much.

Here, in this pLace, I have onLy posted 27 times (28 if I couLd bring myseLf to finish this post), waaaaay Less than in my heyday of bLogging in MuLtipLy. I’ve performed with the yosakoi group even Less than Last year, which kind of breaks my heart. I bought a new gadget with my own money, which pissed my parents. I’ve gone on two trips with my Unidachi, one not so good, the other is THE BEST VACATION I’VE EVER HAD even though I have never written about it here — the draft is stiLL Lurking somewhere, though. I got into more fights with my parents. I dragged my ass up to meet some.. guys, even though none are going anywhere. I got IVed for the first time in my Life. I saw 2 fiLms for 9 times each, but I missed every singLe fiLm festivaLs that were usuaLLy the highLights of my year. I saw one of my best friends getting married (and just Like I knew I wouLd, I faiLed to hoLd my tears). I’m stiLL here in the office. And I’ve bought the tickets for the Long-awaited Japan trip next year.

Yeah, not much. But at Least next year I’m going to two of my top five favorite cities on the pLanet.

Here’s to 2014, and 2015.

ALways a fooL trying to be cooL

I Love how One OK Rock keeps bombing my birthday month for two years in a row. Last year, the concert. This year, FOOL COOL ROCK is screened on some LocaL cinemas, onLy for this weekend. And of course, originaLLy pLanning just to see it once on Friday, I ended up seeing it again yesterday and today. Because FCR is quite a spectacLe. NostaLgia ran high and I think me and MP managed to annoy the heLL out of some other peopLe by our squeaLing and cLapping and singing aLong. And I got teary eyed each time Wherever You Are is on.

That Leads me to this question: Is it normaL to stiLL be fangirLing at my age? When my friends Left and right are pLanning their weddings, I’m stiLL Lusting after Tubby’s sweater and backpack and fawning over Papa Leader’s terrific hair and cooL man-bag. I just hope The Mothership wiLL never find out what I reaLLy did this weekend (and how many times I’ve seen Rurouni Kenshin Kyoto Inferno and The Legend Ends in totaL).

Okay, anyway. FCR has reaLLy made me appreciate the band more. I don’t care if in Japan peopLe say One OK Rock is a band for middLe-schooLers and juveniLes, I LOVE THEM.
I Love Toru for having the idea of forming a band and how he kind of get freaky in his own cooL way.
I Love Taka’s voice and his ambition to make the band better (even though some of his recent actions are.. questionabLe).
I Love Ryota for sticking with the band and growing up together with it and how he can charm his way into the hearts of some thousands of us back in Lapangan KoLam Renang Senayan on November 24th 2013.
I Love Tomoya for showing his Love for the band and the other guys with his own painfuL way and his megagaziLLion watt smiLe and his infectious Laugh and his hair and his striped vests and his.. his.. funny dances ^^

And just for this weekend, I think I kind of Like Decision.