I’ve past my quarter-century crisis but this is like reading into my own future

“Nothing is working. Nothing in my life is working.

Giants of literature, philosophy, and arts have influenced my life, but what have I done with this life? I remain a speck in a tumultuous universe that has little concern for me. I am no more than dust – a mote – dust to dust. I am a blade of grass upon which the stormtrooper’s boot stomps.

I had dreams, and they were not about ending up a speck. I didn’t dream of becoming a star, but I thought I might have a nonspeaking role in a grand epic, an epic with a touch of artistic credentials. I didn’t dream of becoming a giant – I wasn’t that delusional or arrogant – but I wanted to be more than a speck, maybe a midget.

I could have been a midget.”

 

– Rabih Alameddine, An Unnecessary Woman

It’s getting easier and easier for me to do everything on my own. Without having to wait for other peopLe. Sure, I might do some bad, stupid things when aLone, but then I’d onLy have myseLf to bLame (and hate) so no risk of offending other peopLe — speciaLLy peopLe you’re supposed to be kind to. 

Ambitions first impression

So. Another One OK Rock post, I’m sorry, but I just couLdn’t resist.
If you haven’t heard One OK Rock’s Latest aLbum ‘Ambitions’, go away. Or read on, if you’re curious, or whatever.

Here goes..

Ambitions  >> This may be the most boring intro track by OOR so far

Bombs Away >> Do they reaLLy need this much effects and autotune? Oh yeay Japanese lyrics!

Taking Off >> This is Like RADWIMPS’ Zen Zen Zense. Not a bad song, but too generic to be called OOR’s better song. Other bands with lower quality and level could make this song their good song, but this is definitely not OOR’s better song.

We Are >> I can see why some people said this song “speaks to me in a spiritual level”.  The ‘feels’ reminds me of Clock Strikes, and Nobody’s Home too, but musically it’s still inferior to both. And, NHK 18sai Fes version is still the best.

20/20 >> What was that?

Always Coming Back >> I’ve come to appreciate this song.

Bedroom Warfare >> Livin’ La Vida Loca is giving me a major headache.

Lost In Tonight >> I think this has some potentials, but Taka sounds drunk.

I Was King >> When am I when am I gonna kill this feeling of dread whenever I heard OOR is going to release something new?

Listen >> I’m more interested with the behind-the-scene story of this song. How did Toru react when Avril’s in? 😄

One Way Ticket >> If they pLay this song Live and I happen to be going, I wouLd just stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do.

Bon Voyage >> What the hell is this mess? And who’s singing?

Start Again >> Oh this is quite good. Just Lose the O-o-oh.

Take What You Want >> I reaLLy need to pee.

*toilet break*

Secret Track >> Like the intro, this may be the most boring Secret Track by OOR, BUT this is hands down the best track of the entire aLbum.

So.

Um.

I think what I wrote in 35XXXV first impression post couLd be appLied here, with sLight modification:

Okay, from the generaL popuLation point of view, stoicaLLy speaking, this is a good pop rock aLbum from One OK Rock aLthough they couLd tone down the production and effects. And I think they shouLd beef up the Lyrics. I can see tweens and middLe schooLers digging this, but the band wiLL face stiff competition as there are thousands other western bands thand sound more or Less the same (with stronger Lyrics, I guess).

PersonaLLy speaking, this is NOT a good aLbum from One OK Rock. I hate this.
I might Love this if this had been reLeased 10 years ago.
HonestLy I am quite surprised that I find myseLf preferring 35XXXV than Ambitions. But I just.. I feLt so reLieved when Start Again started (weird sentence) and I finaLLy found a non pre-reLeased song that I Like. I was aLmost bored Listening to the other songs. I’m sad because of that.

WeLL this is onLy the first hearing. Maybe some other songs wiLL grow on me over time. Who knows.

I’m ending this post with a quote from a reviewer on Amazon Japan:

グッドバイワンオクロック。 ハローただのグッドバンド。

 

言いたいこときっと山ほどあるけど神様しかいらないまま

I’m back. I’m stiLL aLive. ALbeit with shorter Lifespan, a few pounds heavier, and spottier in the face. And Lazy as ever, as I can onLy push myseLf to write this Long overdue “faces of the journey” post on a ‘sick day’.

But first of aLL, Let me say that Japanese peopLe never cease to amaze me with their.. dare I say kindness? More about it Later.

So this is my first ever soLo trip! Just me, my seLf, my shadow, and I. Maybe I’LL write a separate post on how I feeL about touristing aLone, but one thing for sure, it makes the peopLe I met on the trip more.. meaningfuL 🙂

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Tonight you and I wiLL faLL from the sky

This conversation happened hours after One OK Rock’s Taking Off MV was reLeased.

UC >> Well, the video quality has increased somewhat.
Me >> Yeah, compared to the catastrophy that is Last Dance. But the stories are getting weirder and weirder.
UC >> But there’s a lesson we all can learn from the new MV.
Me >> What’s that?
UC >> Do not ever trust any stranger you just met who suddenly kiss you, no matter how handsome or pretty they are.
Me >> LoL.
UC >> Seriously, you wouldn’t want to blow up to pieces just because a stranger kiss you, right? Or even worse, they might turn you to a zombie..
Me >> You know what? I think there is a connection between Last Dance and Taking Off MV.
UC >> What’s that?
Me >> What if that girl was actuaLLy an aLien Left behind by those aLiens in Last Dance? You know, maybe they pLanted her on Earth to.. observe? That’s why she was chased by those gas maskies. Because she was an aLien. She had the power to expLode and destroy, but to activate that power she had to make intimate contact with a human being. Then that poor feLLow drive by.. and boom. Her aLien body dust wouLd get bLown everywhere by the wind, and any human being who made contact with that dust wouLd turn to zombies! That way, it wouLd be easier for the aLiens to conquer Earth!
UC >> Your imagination is surely too active. This is still office hour, right? Aren’t you supposed to be working?
Me >> Well I bet One OK Rock’s next MV wiLL have a zombie concept.
UC >> Yeah, just like how they turn us old fans into zombies wishing them to be good again.

It’s onLy Wednesday tomorrow’s Thursday but somehow I feeL so. Dead. Tired.
The thought of skipping work om Monday and take refuge somewhere with exceLLent wifi to catch up on aLL Macross DeLta episodes and grinding Mobius FF sounds very tempting right now.

Suck it.

So Last week I finaLLy decided to fuLLy go soLo for the upcoming trip. PredictabLy, it caused some riffs with the ex-traveLbuddies-to-be. Again, predictabLy enough, money matters. But the biggest Lesson I’ve Learned from this: never agree to traveL together with a bunch of peopLe you bareLy know, especiaLLy if the thought of sharing a doubLe bed and a bathroom with strangers can make you go hot and coLd.

ALong came other things to be taken care of.

Done List:
I got my visa waiver sticker Last week (right before I teLL the strangers Sayonara).
Accommodations for aLL cities booked.

To Be Done ASAP Hurry Up You Lazy Ass List:
Rent mobiLe wifi.
Buy JR RaiL Pass.
Make a packing List (this is kinda fun, untiL you have to pack for reaL).
FinaLize shopping List.
Exchange currency.
And the hardest of aLL, the mother of aLL headaches – Itineraries.

PLanning itineraries aLL by myseLf is crazy hard because I’m trying to incLude everything I want to do and see without any interferences from other parties into a Limited time sLot. And instead of hearing other peopLe opinions or constructing critics, sometimes I’d hear LittLe voices in my head, Like:
“WiLL I be a bad person if I’m not interested to go to the Peace MemoriaL?”
“You’ve been there twice before, so why shouLd you go again now?”
“I don’t reaLLy Like the goLden tempLe that much (and have seen it twice), but now I want to go there again because Tomoya went there a coupLe of days ago and posted it on his Instagram. How stupid is that?”
“Do you reaLLy have to go that far just to see a 18m robot statue?”
“Is this pLan feasibLe? WiLL I not go crazy and drop dead in the middLe of everything?”
“WILL THERE BE ENOUGH TIME FOR EVERYTHING?”

Sometimes I envy the traveLers who can do everything on a whim, not pLanning everything and just see what the day wiLL bring them.

But, to quote BFU (she’s been very quotabLe for the Last two posts): “When you do it by yourseLf, aLL you have to do when something go wrong is just suck it.”
Back to itinerary pLanning I go.

Abort Mission!

The titLe of this post was quoted from my BFU when I toLd her I was to go to another mission with Subject.. Let’s just caLL him R1.

 

R1 is a notary who had worked with Mrs. Z, one of Her Mothership’s gaziLLion friends (I don’t even know if I have ever met Mrs. Z. If I had, I can’t even recaLL what she Looks Like). Mrs. Z advertised him as a highLy eLigibLe bacheLor with a steady income, but he’s extremeLy shy. HM toLd me Mrs. Z toLd her that R1 consuLted Mrs. Z for a week before he started contacting me.

The resuLt of that consuLtation?
A stream of annoying texts with various incorrect speLLings of my name and fLooding me with sad faces emojis if I didn’t text him back ASAP, a coupLe of DIY Ed Sheeran covers, and a barrage of seLfies in a poLice car.
So I siLentLy toLd him to go to heLL.
And eventuaLLy he stopped. My Life was peacefuL again.

For a few months.
UntiL Mrs. Z kindLy butted in again, urging us to meet, through Her Mothership.
SLy.

So the stream of annoying texts with various incorrect speLLings of my name and fLooding me with sad faces emojis if I didn’t text him back ASAP returned.
OnLy this time, he said “Look, I know you’re pushed to do this, so am I. Mrs. Z won’t stop buggering me about you.”
Poor him. So I agreed, just to ease our mutuaL annoyances.

On the way to The Mission, Her Mothership kept saying I have to be nice, don’t be too coLd, yada yada yada. She even asked me to ‘bring’ him to meet her.
SERIOUSLY HOW WEIRD WOULD THAT BE. I mean, we both didn’t want to do this, so if I ‘took’ him to my mother he wouLd think:
a. “Hey, maybe she likes me.” (are there any throw up emojis in WordPress?)
b. “Oh great it’s her mom now I have pressure from both sides.”
So I said NO WAY to Her Mothership, and off I went to The Mission.

The foLLowing things happened:

  • He kept repeating how annoyed he was by Mrs. Z taLking about me (seriousLy though, which one is this Mrs. Z and what does she know about me besides I’m singLe and Her Mothership is desperate to marry me off?)
  • He doesn’t know how the Food Court Table Law works.
  • He insisted to ordering food for me.
  • He doesn’t eat meat.
  • The conversation died a few times for periods far too Long to be comfortabLe. And I was trying to be nice and chatty.
  • He sLightLy pushed me to go to a sport shop, and caLLed and texted me everytime I was out of his sight.
  • After it was over and done with, Her Mothership is giving me the CoLd Shoulder treatment because.. I don’t know..? For not bringing him to meet her?

ConcLusion: Mission Aborted.

 

 

So I went to a two days overnight training out of town. I was typing this on the bus on the way back to Jakarta.
It was a nice break from daiLy office routines.
Met a bunch of new peopLe from other offices, mostLy managers/or in manageriaL path (Me? I’m just a disposabLe staff). They’re nice peopLe. CapabLe peopLe. SociabLe peopLe. Maybe I’m the most introverted, cLosed-off, antisociaL one from the bunch.
They exchanged phone numbers. I don’t have any singLe new numbers added to my contact List.
I’m thinking, when the bus reach it’s Last stop, I’LL just sLip away quietLy and go home. Somehow this thought makes me sad.

SeriousLy, I wasn’t this bad some years ago.

Oh, things. You know, Like my cat, my fictionaL boyfriends, and vacation time.

Last Sunday I went on another Mission.
The Subject is a son of Her Mothership’s friend. Appearance-wise, he’s not repuLsive-Looking and at Least a bit taLLer than me. ConversationaL skiLL, good.

But then he asked: “What’s your passion?”

What the fuck.
Is that The Question of The Decade to ask to anyone you’ve just met for the first time?
Am I weird if I got super pissed off if peopLe poked their noses on my passion?
Is this a job interview?

Yeah, I know I stiLL don’t have any cLear idea what my passion is, so probabLy that’s why I’m so pissed.
But seriousLy, does everybody ask about it whenever they meet anyone for the forst time? Or have I been Living at another dimension? 

Stay by my side, by my side

I’m supposed to be sLeeping, but I know I wouLdn’t be abLe to before I got this out of my mind.
This ‘this’ is primariLy caused by the vocaList of a Japanese band I respect, Noda Yojiro of Radwimps, coLLaborating with the vocaList of one of my favorite band, Taka of One OK Rock, to raise donation for Kumamoto Earthquake.

To quote Noda-san:

English

Having the earthquake in Kumamoto, Kyushu region, I’ve been thinking what I can do. Still earth is shaking day-and-night and people could barely feel safe. At the same time, I’ve touched many warm feelings who struggle finding their way to help the victims.
And we decide to hold a donation campaign with our track.
With the wishes to light peace in victim’s heart, we sang this song. We’d like to distribute this song and deliver all the sales to affected area.
The project came to my mind with the song called ‘by my side’ which I sang with Taka at the last tour. Taka and I retook this track for this project. I’d like to thank Taka and the members of ONE OK ROCK.
You can choose the purchasing price of this track from 10 yen to 100 thousand yen. We will donate all the profits to the victims of this disaster. We appreciate if you set the price with your heart of support, sympathies, and the wishes to the people suffering from this disaster.
I’d like to express my deepest sympathies to the people who lost their precious ones. Every time I visit, you always give me more than I could give and I love the place. From the bottom of my heart, I hope the day in peace will come soon, quiet night and calm morning will come soon. We want to support and be with you in the long term.
Lastly, I’d like to thank our staffs and all of the people who joined and worked for this project.

Yojiro

■About donation
All the artist income will be contribute to the appropriate organization. Recipient will be announced once it has determined.

■How to purchase the track
In order to purchase the track, you need to register ‘Funnect’. Please refer ‘Funnect’ site for more details.

■Track information
Title: by my side
Artist: Yojiro Noda (RADWIMPS)/ Taka (ONE OK ROCK)

■Selectable Price
¥10:¥50:¥100:¥200:¥300:¥500:¥1,000:¥2,000:¥3,000:¥4,000:¥5,000:¥6,000:¥7,000:¥8,000:¥9,000:¥10,000:¥30,000:¥50,000:¥80,000:¥100,000:
Please note that any acknowledgment will not be publish.

■Payment options
Credit card (VISA、Master Card、Diners Club International、AMERICAN EXPRESS、JCB)
PayPal
Alipay
etc.

Man, I’d Love to pay ¥100,000 if I couLd.

Because Noda-san or his staff was kind enough to repLy to my stupid question on his post and for a moment made me feeL Like a speciaL speck of dust in the wind of gaLaxy

image

image

And because the originaL バイマイサイ is aLready beautifuL as it is and now is even more -SURREAL- with Taka’s voice.

image

If anybody is reading this, I urge you to go to Fannect and use your Yens for good.

Now I’m going to Listen to this non-stop whiLe trying too sLeep.

Why did I do these.

  1. I impuLsiveLy bought a return ticket to Tokyo for November 2016.
    WeLL, I’ve been dreaming about ceLebrating my next birthday in Japan soLo, so.. yeah. Saving Craze must start now.
  2. I impuLsiveLy booked a non-refundabLe hoteL for my trip to Turkey next month.
    I thought it’s a free-canceLLation booking. Turned out it’s not. WeLL, at Least it’s a better deaL than the previous booking, and breakfast is incLuded. Fingers crossed the hoteL’s not too bad.

Take My Hand And Bring Me Back

I swear this is not a One OK Rock bLog, but guess what my first post in 2016 wiLL be about? One OK Rock.

Because two days ago I SURVIVED ANOTHER ONE OK ROCK CONCERT WITH MY WHOLE BODY STILL IN ONE PIECE! Woo!

To cut the story short, me and a-gaL-Let’s-just-caLL-her-MP fLew to Singapore on Friday, January 22 and we decided to Lurk around in Changi for a coupLe of hours to catch this

wp-1453728175969.jpg

BeLieve me, I feLt Like a super perverted staLker.

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